Hierarchy is often invisible

Hierarchy is often invisible because it becomes the air we breathe. We rarely notice it until we slow down and look at the subtle ways it shapes us:

• Language: We say “higher-ups,” “moving up,” “falling behind” — as if human worth is measured on a ladder.

• Politeness and tone: Speaking deferentially to authority, but harshly to ourselves or those “below.”

• Internal ranking: Comparing ourselves constantly — prettier, smarter, more successful, less worthy — even when no one is keeping score.

• Shame in vulnerability: Feeling weak or “less than” if we cry, ask for help, or admit we don’t know.

• Work and productivity: Believing our value rises when we achieve, and falls when we rest.

• Relationships: Seeking approval from those we see as “above” while neglecting those we unconsciously place “below.”

• Self-talk: The inner critic often speaks in the voice of hierarchy — “You should, you must, you’re failing.”

These subtleties matter because they quietly reinforce the wound: “My worth is not inherent — it depends on where I stand in the order.”