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Human First
January 16, 2026 Psychology

Control vs agency 

Here’s a humanist way to hold that distinction: • Control is rooted in fear. It’s the ego’s attempt to manage outcomes, people, and feelings so nothing unexpected can hurt us. Control narrows life — it limits spontaneity, play, and presence. • Agency is rooted in freedom. It’s the felt sense that I can choose how I respond. Agency doesn’t […]

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Human First
January 3, 2026 Psychology

What are the most common trauma beliefs 

• I am not enough / not good enough → I am lacking, incomplete. • I am too much → My real self is overwhelming, unsafe for others. • I am unloveable → No matter what I do, I cannot be accepted. • I am not doing enough → My worth is conditional, tied to constant effort. In summary, […]

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Human First
December 22, 2025 Psychology

What happens in Humanist therapy sessions

You speak to what is bothering you today and we begin to make sense of it together – making links between types of current experiences so you can have more clarity on what you are experiencing.  From here we explore ways to move towards the emotion underneath your experiences; when we can connect with the emotion […]

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Human First
December 1, 2025 Psychology

The harms of labelling and diagnosing 

The harms and dangers of labelling and diagnosing — especially from a humanist perspective — are deep and often invisible: • Identity becomes pathology: A person begins to see themselves as their diagnosis (“I am borderline,” “I am depressed”), rather than as a human being moving through pain. • Reduction of complexity: Labels flatten the richness of […]

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Human First
November 22, 2025 Psychology

Everyone is projecting almost all the time 

Projection is one of those invisible human habits — we all do it, all the time — and it quietly shapes our relationships, self-image, and daily interactions. Some everyday ways it shows up: • Judgments of others: The traits we can’t accept in ourselves (neediness, laziness, anger) suddenly become crystal clear in the people around […]

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Human First
November 4, 2025 Psychology

Hierarchy sneaks into intimacy

Hierarchy sneaks into intimacy in quiet but powerful ways — often without either partner realizing it. Some signs it’s at play: • One voice dominates: Decisions, opinions, or emotional tones are set by one partner, while the other adapts or silences. • Approval-seeking: One partner feels they must earn the other’s love through performance, caretaking, […]

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Human First
October 26, 2025 Psychology

Hierarchy is often invisible

Hierarchy is often invisible because it becomes the air we breathe. We rarely notice it until we slow down and look at the subtle ways it shapes us: • Language: We say “higher-ups,” “moving up,” “falling behind” — as if human worth is measured on a ladder. • Politeness and tone: Speaking deferentially to authority, but harshly to […]

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Human First
October 22, 2025 Psychology

 The impact of covert trauma 

The impact of covert trauma is profound precisely because it hides in plain sight. No bruises, no headlines — but the soul still carries scars. • Self-doubt: Without overt harm to point to, people often question if their pain is “real” or “valid.” • Invisible loneliness: Growing up unseen or unheard leaves a lingering emptiness, even in […]

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Human First
October 13, 2025 Psychology

Relationship between ego and trauma 

Ego as armour: The ego is not the true self, but the mask or armor we put on to move through the world safely. It’s a bundle of strategies — control, image, judgment, performance — that protects our vulnerability. • Trauma as the forge: Trauma creates the conditions that make armour necessary. When raw selfhood […]

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